#mostly because i find it a bit pointless

[nanitasheart]

this is a bit rant-y feel free to skip

i'm a bit tired of being in fandom spaces where people constantly generalise and make black and white takes about the characters... i know it's not like a massive deal and i can just block these people (and i'm not saying i don't do that) but its just a bit annoying yknow?

i think it just gets under my skin as a writer + looking at characters from a writer's viewpoint that the main point of watching a show is to see character conflict and how the characters (work to) resolve that and seeing characters with one-dimensional personalities or relationships makes for a boring show so why reduce them in long posts in the same way?

not sure if this is a crazy take but with morally grey characters saying "xyz character is so cute and can do nothing wrong"/woobifying them is just as much of a disservice to their character and the people that wrote them as saying "xyz character is irredeemable and saying they can have good moments is bad and they should suffer 24/7" because the whole point is theyre morally grey and don't conform to being "bad" or "good" constantly in their show, even if they have a majority of one trait

also i see often people let their personal takes and experiences influence their opinions on a character which is fine but when this extends to policing how people view/interact/interpret a character it also gets a bit jarring to look at ... (i understand the irony behind saying this though LOL but to clarify i'm not saying you have to interpret characters a certain way/can't generalise their character for the sake of simplicity or something but going on long tirades about how awful a character is when they do have at least a few redeeming qualities just seems a bit pointless imo)

anyway my point is: look at characters with nuance! acknowledge both their strengths and their flaws! it's more often than not that a main character in a show isn't 100% "good pure angel saint" or 100% "bad irredeemable satan spawn of hell" and going on big rants about one or the other while disregarding the aspects of their character you don't personally like/want to focus on to bolster your narrative of a character is annoying to read /lh

[arolesbianism]

Dude actually getting to read other ppl talk abt oni lore stuff did so much to make up for my brain sucking at reading I didn't even consider that Michael E.E. Perlmutter could be Meep I thought it would be unfitting if he was just a rando but I did not put two and two together at all and look at the obviously spelt out capitalized letters dhdkhdkd

[bluejutdae]

• best friend Stray Kids saving you (or being saved by you) from a bad date | Minho x you

Chan, Changbin, Hyunjin, Jisung, Felix, Seungmin, Jeongin

genre: friends to lovers

warnings: asshole date, nothing happens but reader thinks her date might follow her home

This night has been terrible so far. Your friend convinced you to go out with one of her colleagues to get over your crush for Minho, and you knew it was pointless, but she insisted so much you have lost the will to fight. So you wore a nice dress and a minute before you left the apartment, the guy texted you saying there was a change of plans and to meet two hours later and at a different location. Is the dating scene like this for everybody? You haven’t dated anyone for a long time, a bit because of how things ended with your last boyfriend but mostly because of the raging (unreciprocated) crush for Minho.

Minho’s now one of your closest friends, but you never actually gave up on your feelings for him. It’s almost comfortable, safe in a way, to love someone knowing things won’t change but won’t end either.

But for the sake of shutting up your friend, you are now in a very shitty situation. The guy is pretty, you’re mature enough to admit that, but he’s a major asshole. Even ignoring the last minute change of plans, the fact that he arrived 25 minutes later and apparently the new location is a nightclub. His hands have been on you the moment he introduced himself and the more you try to put some distance between you two, the more he’s all over you. You could just leave, that’s true. It’s also true that this guy is very set on never leaving your side and he’s so pushy you’re certain he wouldn’t hesitate to follow you home.

You wonder when Minho is going to be here so you can at least leave the club and have him keep you company, when you feel a hand grabbing your wrist. You turn to find the hand holding you belongs to Minho himself and he’s looking at you with a surly expression, teeth clenched and a frown between his eyebrows. “We’re going home.”

His voice is cold and firm, you’ve never heard him speak to you like that. Your date notices the scene and turns to Minho. “Woah dude, she’s mine tonight.”

Minho’s cold stare rests on the guy and at the same time your friend makes a step to place himself between you and your date. “She’ll never be yours, not tonight, not never. She belongs to me. Dude.” The last word was spat through Minho’s teeth, mocking and a bit cruel.

Words die on the guy’s tongue when Minho gets into his face and says something too quiet for you to hear.

A moment later he’s gently pushing you away and through the crowd, towards the exit.

“Well, that was intense,” you joke when you’re safe on the sidewalk.

“Don’t you ever put yourself into a situation like this. Ever again.” He’s on your face, almost screaming the words at you, anger contorting his face.

You can understand he was worried, but you don’t like the way he’s talking to you.

“Ya, Minho! Do you think I wanted that?” You raise your eyebrows. “I didn’t call you so you could scold me! I called you because I trusted you to help me, I know I was in a shitty situation!”

“And yet you still got into this situation!” He rebuts, and in this moment you hate him a little.

Why is he judging you like this? Why is he blaming you? Sure, you were a bit too naive but it’s not like you consciously decided to put yourself in a potentially dangerous situation.

“This clearly wasn’t what I expected.”

“No? You’re the one who decided to go to a club with a man you didn’t know. And you came alone! Was bringing a friend too easy?”

“Fuck you, Minho!”

You stalk away, towards the direction of the bus stop. Why is he mad at you now? He’s never been mean or cruel to you, despite what lots of people say about him, he’s a caring friend.

You can hear his footsteps getting close and you almost laugh at the thought that comes to your mind: you are always so focused on him, you can now recognize his footsteps.

“I parked in the other direction.”

“Then go the other direction. I don’t need you here. Sorry I bothered you. I won’t be your problem anymore.”

“You are my problem.”

“Oh, so I really am a problem to you.” You can believe him. All this because he had to come get you? You didn’t think it’d be such a hassle.

“Yes. You’ve been my problem since I met you.”

“You’re being so fucking cruel tonight, Minho.”

“I am not- can you stop walking?” He asks, sounding exasperated. You stop and face him, one hand on your hip and your lips pursed in disapproval. “So you can tell me more about how I’m a problem?”

“I didn’t say a problem.”

“You said exac-“

“I said MY problem! Emphasis on my. Because you’re not other people’s problem. And I don’t want you to belong to other guys, don’t want them to call you theirs! I want you to be mine.”

You stare at him for half a minute, silent and still. Putting aside the fact that he’s repeating the fact that you’re a problem, you try to read between the lines.

“Is this a fucked up way to tell me you have feeling for me?”

“Yes.”

This is ridiculous. Really ridiculous. Your crush has feelings for you. And the most backwards way of confessing. Well, considering he is Minho, it’s pretty in character for him. Still ridiculous, though.

“I didn’t know you decided to go on dates.” He says it like a second thought.

“I didn’t.”

“You were on a date.”

“Doesn’t mean I decided to go on dates.”

“Means exactly that.”

“Jesus, Minho. Can you ever drop something?”

“Not when it’s about you.”

This asshole. How can you find his otherwise annoying answers amusing?

“My friend insisted so much that she wore me down, so I accepted this date with her colleague. So, as I said, I haven’t decided to go on dates.”

“Good.”

“You can never be normal, uh? Always with a weird answer.”

“You like weird.”

“I do.”

“You’re normal. I like normal.”

He likes normal, and he likes you. And he tells you so in a Minho way at least another ten times in the following minutes, during your way home.

You say goodbye and you’re about to get out of the car, when he puts his hand on your arm, an hesitant expression on his face. “No more other guys, right?”

You smile softly at him. “No more other guys. There hasn’t really been another guy since I met you.”

His smile is all you need.

[shaevilux]

People knock on Rhoam for being a bad dad cuz he's distant and stern to little Zelda and say how Rauru is the goat (heh) for taking her in like his own daughter. Like Zelda had her real parental connection with Sonia and Rauru. But frankly that's a little reductive.

Rauru literally descended from the heavens, married a priest, started a kingdom. Man didn't really know much strife yet. There's no looming threat of calamity or prophecy yet. Things are peaceful. Things are fine. Things are great. Zelda dropped in during this time, talking about a doom that's going to happen tens of thousands of years in the future.

This sad, lost princess.

Of course any reasonable person would take her in and calm her and tell her she is fine and listen and support her.

Rhoam not being able to be this kind of figure for Zelda is tragic. Just read this poor man's journal entries:

"It has been a year and three months since her mother passed. Perhaps she is held back by heartache too deep to heal. If the Ganon prophecy wasn't looming over our heads, I would tell her to take her time... To wait until she is ready. But our situation is dire and leaves no room for weakness—even on behalf of my beloved daughter. My heart breaks for Zelda, but I must act as a king, not a father. I must order her to train relentlessly at the fountain." Pg 4.

"In truth, I understand Zelda's feelings. Painfully so. She lost her mother, her teacher, before she could learn from her. Ten pointless years of self-training, without so much as a book or note to help her find her way... Those in the castle talk behind her back. And I, her only family, scold her for her shortcomings. No wonder she wishes to hide away in her beloved relic research. I'd love nothing more than to console her... But I must stay strong. She MUST fulfill her duty, just as we all must. Even if she comes to despise me." Pg 6.

"I have been told my Zelda went to the Spring of Wisdom... This will likely be her last chance. If she is unable to awaken her power at Lanayru, all hope is truly lost. If she comes back without success, then I shall speak kindly with her. Scolding is pointless now. I forced 10 years of training on her... and after all that, it seems her power will stubbornly awaken some other way. Perhaps I should encourage her to keep researching her beloved relics. They may just lead her to answers I can't provide. For now, I sit anxiously, more a father than a king in this moment. I sit and await my daughter's return." Pg 7. (He fucking dies and never gives Zelda this bit of closure uuuugggghhhhhhh Zelda I'm so sorry Rhoam I'm so sorry)

It sucks because most people remember the cutscenes (duh it's more immersive and important) and in the cutscenes of the first game Rhoam was mostly shown as being stern and mean to babygirl Zelda, who is closed fists explaining herself to him at the verge of tears. And in contrast everyone in the first royal family of hyrule in the second game treated her with such kindness and we can see how happy she was being there with them.

Rhoam was shackled by duty. By prophecy. By the looming calamity. And from the day he named his daughter 'Zelda' he shackled her as well.

And what does Zelda do with these shackles? She accepts them. She tolerates them. Because she loves her father and her kingdom and knows there's a power dormant in her that can stop the calamity that she must do her best to unlock. She does this dutifully. She does all the training, she does everything that is required.

But it still doesn't unlock. So she tries other ways. She isn't just going after the 'relics' because she's scholarly and nerdy and wants to learn about them. She does it because she's pragmatic. She knows her sacred sealing power isn't present in her. She knows she might not be able to control it or even unlock it in time.

So she tries this alternative approach. The Divine Beasts, the guardians. Ancient tech that was used to prevent the calamity of their time. And she awakened the tech. And her father chose the champions for each divine beast. And they were all prepared. And it's all thanks to Zelda.

And then... Fucking tragedy again. Ganon probably learned his lesson from the last time he was thwarted and immediately went for the tech, corrupting it and turning it against the new users. Against Zelda.

It's never really stated how fast it all turned to shit when the tech betrayed them (or maybe I don't remember) but every account points to it being almost overnight. The champions died. Rhoam died. And suddenly, suddenly Zelda unlocks her sealing magic.

I always always hate the literary trope of using tragedy to unlock a great power that could've actually stopped the tragedy from happening in the first place.

And it's no different in BOTW. I hate that Zelda had to go through all this to unlock her powers.

And then what happens next?

She's stuck in limbo (in an almost mocking parallel to Rauru in the next game with his imprisoning arm) holding Ganon back. For a hundred years.

This young woman had gone through so much only to be trapped with a calamity seeking to destroy Hyrule for a century.

Does she know her father died in the war? Does she know the champions died in battle? Would she know Link would survive in the Shrine of Resurrection? Would she know how long it would all take? The century she would have to wait?

I think she didn't. I think it all happened too fast. I think ultimately, she decided a stalemate with ganon was an agreeable outcome. I think in her mind she probably thought she failed Hyrule. When the divine beasts turned she must have been distraught. Distraught might not even cover it tbh. But at least... At least when the kingdom was brought to it's knees by the corrupted tech and was waiting for the final blow, she had the ability to ensure the final blow never came.

And oh boy I have a looot more to talk about regarding Tears of the Kingdom. But I do want to have a couple of more playthroughs of it to really formulate what I want to say.

[simplyreveries]

Dorm Leaders watching their S/O beat up someone that shit talked them. And they do it without a scratch and walk off to them like nothing happened, and the only reason why they noticed was because of some blood on their uniforms

riddle rosehearts

the look on his FACE when he sees you straight up sucker punch someone for calling him names, most likely some student in his dorm telling him off frustrated and badmouthing riddle to their friends. he was speechless??? like??? he quickly regains his composure and manages to have you and the other (more so you) back off before anything more happens and it escalates. he may even temporarily use his magic on you two as a swift warning.

riddle will remove it once the student is gone and scold you for doing and resorting to such violence… though yes it was good that you had, good intentions with him and mind he’ll huff and tell you that is not how to do it! he’ll end up rambling in a flustered moment after having that happen and because out of defense? he's never felt that before or had someone to do that for him really.

he’ll ask and wonder if aces stubborn and fighting tendencies are rubbing off on you, he’d know as he GOT hit by him before. he’ll exclaim and be like “I told you, dear, they're a bad influence on you tsk..!” hehehe. he makes an effort to keep you strayed and quickly moved away if some situation like this occurs, especially after knowing just how far you are willing to go for him… after he’s gone on long enough to you about how that wasn't a good idea, you swore you could've seen a hint of a smile on him.

leona kingscholar

leona is used to hearing some sort of snarky hushed comments about him from other students, thinking he doesn't have such a keen sense of hearing, at times. he really could care less and mostly likely will not be caught thinking about it even later on. there were times where maybe yes, they would sting him slightly but that was when he was younger and, in the castle, hear comments regarding him and his place beside his brother. once again, he has gotten used to these kinds of things and finds it rather pointless to dwell on. he doesn't want to pity himself.

but… you are kind of the opposite when to him and he actually is genuinely shocked for once when he sees you getting personal and physical with some random octavinelle student that made some snide comment about him. leona had always known that you had an overprotective and forward flare to you— hell he loved that about you, but he actually was not expecting that one bit.

he will grab your arm and stop you from going any further from terrorizing this poor student, he’ll grumble what “an idiot” you are for getting yourself into such a mess, for a mere comment towards him. he’ll have some smirk on his face, he doesn't seem to be taking this seriously one bit.

azul ashengrotto

like leona he has had to learn to “toughen up” and learn to ignore them (though he does most likely take them to heart at times) he holds his front and persona ever the same remaining unbothered and frankly ignorant. he is quite used to others talking poorly especially as his reputation is poor among various students haha. but he doesn't seem to care, he is quite happy to see his business grow actually.

azul seems a little taken off-guard when you start a whole fight with not one but a group of students??? l mean, most violence he is used to is from the twins to some student who’s defiant to fulfill or deal with the effects of their deal. when he is past the initial surprise, he stops you and tells you to only ignore them, azul will claim its foolish to engage. he tries to keep a fake “oh terribly sorry about that...” to the students to make sure they won't do anything. if something were to happen though because you decided to pick a fight out of his defense, he could always send someone like floyd, not you!

not going to lie though, moving away he did feel a sense of pride knowing that you're someone that's so willing to go such lengths for him, not to mention, he's impressed. you’ll still find him going on and telling you that you shouldn't be doing that, it could lead you into some larger mess with other troublesome students. but he’ll chuckle and tell you he finds it endearing.

kalim al-asim

kalim is pretty liked for the most part by other students and his dorm, minus the whole fiasco that happened during his chapter. he is just the kind of person that wants to be able to get everyone's approval and he’ll stubbornly keep being persistent. however, in a school like nrc where they're so many people the opposite he is bound to get annoyed, mean comment from someone. SO, when you decide to take that extra personally, he is so??!! he is not one for violence like ever...

after he sees how willing you are to defend him by literally fighting the student, he absolutely will quickly get in between you two and stop the situation before it even begins to escalate, trying to make light of it all with a nervous smile and laugh, he doesn't want to see you or the other person fighting!

he'll look over you all worried, he doesn't want you or anyone to be hurt, especially on his own behalf. he just has this shocked and bewildered expression as he does so, like he is flattered and thinks it's nice that you care for him but not so aggressively! haha.

vil schoenheit

this man is a celebrity…. words do not affect him. he is really used to comments online but also around him during his school life, though he is surprised there are some so bold to be expressive about their thoughts of someone like him. he doesn't think much of them, at most shooting them some glare or even an unamused look from him. if he’s particularly stressed or upset about something beforehand he won't hesitate to throw his own comment as well.

he is shocked but carefully removes you before things get any sorts of serious after you decide to start that. the last thing he would want is for you to be hurt in some sort of silly reason, as he doesn't seem to care about what others think of him. if anything, vil would only be more concerned about you than that unpleasant student. he does know quite the temper and stubbornness you can get; he’ll move you by the arms away if he has to.

vil would look like he is frustrated but his face is just painted with concern for you— he’ll stubbornly bring you to his room and make you sit down in front of his vanity, leaving the student way being (frankly surprised that you decided to sucker punch them for talking ill of vil). vil will carefully tend to your hands, shaking his head. he’ll kiss your knuckles when he’s done, get your uniform cleaned and warn you not to do something like that again!

idia shroud

if idias feeling mean back (most of the time) he’ll probably just do something scummy to the person online and call it a day. but at the end of the day, he avoids people like the plague, so this happening is rare— he isn't exactly the most confrontational person either, unlike you who willingly get into the student's face getting slightly physical about to jump in and defend your boyfriend. that is until the student runs off.

he freezes and pauses for a moment, really unable to stop staring at you as the whole situation unfolding in front really trying to register what you just did. then he would give off his weird little snicker and giggle, after witnessing the whole thing, he finds it amusing that you're able to do that to some student, knowing you're a human— the magicless one yet you're able to do something like that for him??

honestly, he loves it, you've opened his eyes and made him realize that he is definitely attracted to that lmao. yet he groans when you go on and still fired up about the student, he’ll tell you it's too much of a trouble to do these kinds of things.

malleus draconia

he is quite used to hushed whispers and looks from passing students, though it is discouraging because he doesn't want that from others— there's another part of malleus if he's upset or feelings particularly spiteful for it… he could get really intimidating himself, no doubt about it, if he really wanted to. he never does anything too bad, but he sometimes messes with others if he is in the mood. at the end of the day though, he is used to sebek quickly charging up ready to defend his honor at any moment of the day and telling him calmly to let them be.

nevertheless, he is genuinely surprised when you suddenly are willing to fight people literally for him. he finds it entertaining at first but then when he realizes you're being serious and get tough with a particular student he's like OH. with the quick move his hand, he’ll quickly move you and pull you away with some magic and prevent you or the student form doing anything else.

he’ll have some amused look on his face, as he remembers the face on the student when you were about to swing at him. as he lightheartedly scolds you for being so rough and doing something that could end with you getting hurt.

[marclef]

a special gift for you guys, for this very important Fake Peppino Friday.... after a week of near-continuous work, i present to you the biggest mess i've posted so far to tumblr:

The Fake Peppino Headcanon/Biology/Anatomy/Whatever the heck this is Post

really just a bunch of headcanons, ideas, and other stuff i've complied together for Fake Peppino, illustrated to the best of my ability. i hope you enjoy! ✨✨✨

(caution: lots of text and assorted Frogs up ahead)

now.... who's ready for walls of text and drawings?

Fake Peppino is a homunculus, made in the shape of Peppino by Pizzahead. He's much taller than the real Peppino, 8 feet tall compared to Peppino's 5 1/2 feet. He was created using the DNA from Peppino (either skin or hair cells), old pizza, and frogs (think Jurassic Park). His entire body, including the hat and "clothes", is comprised of a strange goop, with no flesh organs or bones, though certain areas are made out of specialized goo, meant for an intended purpose.

He can stretch his body to inhuman lengths, though he usually only does this with his legs, mouth, tongue, and arms. His goopy body is extremely strong, able to withstand tearing and most puncture wounds. Attacks from knives or similar weapons are pointless, as it doesn't really harm him, and will likely just lead to him absorbing the knife into himself and retaliating. However, repeated attacks, especially physical blows, can tire him out, and explosives can harm him, splitting his body into pieces if particularly strong. This doesn't kill him, though, since he can reform his body.

If threatened, or trying to get into a tight spot, Fake Peppino can deform his body into a blob-like mass, allowing him to flee, squeeze into small areas, or melt into the floors/walls. He usually keeps his eyes and brain intact, to see his surroundings and act accordingly. The rest of his body, despite deforming and becoming mushy, can still function, meaning he could still eat in this form if he wanted to. He finds tights spaces comfortable, and can often be found squeezed into unlikely places, such as small containers, trash cans, and cabinets.

If greatly threatened, though, or sufficiently angered, Fake Peppino can pool all of the energy into his body into growing larger, by rapidly burning energy into making more goop/cells. This is very tiring, generally only used as a last resort. The process generally makes his head and body much larger, with his limbs, as well as eyes/brain, staying mostly the same size. He is dumber in this state, with all energy and thought going into eliminating the target, something that Fake Peppino doesn't like. He avoids lashing out like this unless he absolutely needs to.

Despite his frog DNA, Fake Peppino doesn't do well with water or other similar liquids. Thanks to his sturdy stomach walls, he can drink most liquids just fine, even fluids that would be dangerous to humans. It's his outside "skin" that's the problem, since it can't absorb liquid properly. Prolonged contact with water or other liquid will quickly cause him to deform, unable to keep his humanoid form, until he's sufficiently dried off/absorbed the liquid properly. He greatly dislikes being wet because of this, and will go to great lengths to avoid it. Warmer liquids are slightly more tolerable, being much more comfortable, so warm, bubbly baths are welcome.

The brain and eyes are connected directly, with the brain protected by Fake's squishy head, and the eyes popping out the widened eye sockets. The brain is made of very specialized goop, and works very similarly to a human brain, sending signals to all parts of Fake Peppino's body.

However, despite it being the central control center of his body, smaller bits of brain cell goop are distributed through the rest of his body, allowing him to control other parts separately. So, even if parts of him are detached or otherwise removed, he can still control them, for a time. After some time, these parts die off though, losing control and deforming into inert goop. He mainly uses this ability to split "clones" off of himself, controlling them to attack perceived threats.

Being made of goop, Fake's brain can withstand damage a normal brain can't, but he still prefers to keep it protected underneath his head. It dries out a bit in the open, too, which he finds uncomfortable.

Fake Peppino's eyes are very strong. Though he's often seen with a cross-eyed look to him, he's constantly watching his surroundings, even if it doesn't seem it. He has excellent night vision, often using this ability to easily stalk and sneak up on prey in the dark without being spotted.

He doesn't need to blink, but he still closes his eyes to sleep, when he's very happy, or during certain actions, such as swallowing. His eyes are one of the most vulnerable parts of his body, though, and attacking them would be a way to easily disorient him.

Fake Peppino's sense of smell is also impressive, being able to smell things long before he sees them. He uses this ability to easily find food, prey, or simply something he wants. The mustache under his nose (which, same as his "hair", is also made of goop) is sensitive, and he doesn't like others touching it.

Fake Peppino often sniffs things he's interested in, including strangers, to try to get a sense for them. He never forgets a particular smell, which makes it easy to tell if a familiar person is nearby. He often sniffs others while holding them or being given attention, likely as a form of interaction. Plus, he just thinks most others smell nice.

Despite, like the rest of him, being made of goop, Fake Peppino's teeth can harden to be extremely tough. They soften if he needs them to, such as when he deforms. His bite force is very, very strong, comparable to a hippo's bite. He doesn't chew his food too often, though, and only really chews up food he finds particularly tasty, such as pizza. His frog-like instinct usually compels him to swallow most foods whole. His teeth are more often used to grip things, such as prey items, or to carry things around. He enjoys carrying things he likes around, and will carry smaller friends around gently with his mouth.

The stretchiest part of Fake Peppino's body is his tongue, which can stretch to several times his body length. It is very sticky, coated with a clear, saliva-like goop that fills the inside of his mouth as well. Like a frog, he uses it to grab onto and eat food from afar, or to grab items he doesn't feel like using his arms to. It's very strong, and can drag even very heavy objects. The tongue's extreme flexibility allows him to reach it nearly anywhere, even down his own throat if he really wanted.

Usually, Fake Peppino uses his tongue to snatch fleeing prey items, and he can wrap it around their body to make them easier to eat. He often leaves his tongue dangling slightly out of his mouth, due to its length, but also making it easy to strike with if needed.

Fake Peppino's "stomach" is a very special case. It functions like both an organic stomach, and similarly to a lung as well, constantly moving by pushing air in and out of himself. He can use this to inflate his body, making himself bigger for intimidation (like some frogs do), or to shrink himself down by releasing all air from himself; this is generally used if a prey item is being uncooperative, to cause them to suffocate. To help keep live prey in place as well, he's able to close off his throat with a mass of goop, preventing escape.

The constant movement of the stomach makes digesting meals easier, allowing them to be coated by a specialized goop that absorbs and dissolves what it covers, like stomach acids. Fake Peppino's stomach can digest almost everything, aside from very tough materials, such as most metals, very solid plastics, tough minerals (like rocks), and bones. Anything he can't digest, he simply spits up eventually, generally in a place it can be disposed of, such as the trash.

His stomach is very sturdy and stretchy, able to withstand almost anything, and can stretch as much as needed to fit what's inside. As such, there's not much of a limit to how much Fake Peppino can eat. Eating too much makes him sluggish, though, as his body tries to process it all. Fake Peppino is most content with a reasonably-full stomach, and is generally quite calm and relaxed after a large meal. Belly rubs at this point are greatly appreciated.

If needed to, he can reach his arms back into his own throat, to grab something from inside of his stomach. He doesn't do it often, due to most things he eats being digestible, making carrying stuff around in there fairly pointless. This is only ever really the case if it's something too difficult to spit up, or something that wasn't supposed to be eaten in the first place.

There is no further digestive system, however; all food eaten is 100% absorbed in the stomach. Everything he eats is converted into more goop like him, leaving no trace behind, unless it is undigestible. Bones from eaten prey such as rats get thrown out, or disposed of in an appropriate spot.

and... though I didn't get to drawing them, here's a couple extra unsorted headcanons/dumb little tidbits I just felt like sharing!

He makes lots of strange sounds, communicating more through groans and frog-like croaks than trying to speak. He CAN talk, but not well, mostly in broken, short sentences, and usually speaks "backwards". He can understand others just fine, though he struggles with especially long and complicated words. The sounds he makes when not talking are generally unintelligable, but his mood and tone can indicate how he feels. He uses the ability to inflate his body to produce very loud, aggressive sounds when trying to ward off threats.

His gooey body is what allows him to cling to walls and ceilings with ease. He sticks to walls while trying to stalk prey, or just to play around with friends. Though, in some cases, he'll cling against the walls or ceiling if frightened, finding them a safe vantage point. If you're in the dark and feel something creeping its way towards you, it's likely Fake Peppino, silently stalking you from the walls.

Despite his inhuman traits, Fake Peppino generally doesn't like the idea of eating humans. He still sees himself as somewhat human from his time spent believing he was the real Peppino. Attacking or eating things he doesn't see as prey is kept as a last resort, or if he's extremely angered. As of now in my canon/AU, there is only one person Fake Peppino has killed in this way. He didn't like the taste.

[demodraws0606]

Hello, I'm a Whit fan and I'm about to shoot myself in the foot

I'm gonna sound extremely hypocritical but I find it very funny how a lot of people have placed expectations on what Whit's character is based on previous fictionnal experiences (Happy/Joking character is secretly holding back their sadness).

Even though, I'd argue, Whit is the character we know the least about.

I'm not just saying that as like what we know personally about him but I also mean behavioral wise.

Whit is heavily analysed to have a facade, and I believe that too, even though the arguments on what is behind that facade is up for debate. However we don't actually know what Whit's feelings actually are.

(The reason why I believe Eden and I don't believe Whit, is, unlike him, she has shown no signs of being fake or have any contradicting behavior)

Whit's reactions are very very often contradictory like him caring for people and want to make them smile but also having the most tame reaction to death in this killing game (there is more but this is just an exemple)

Which is why he's the most likely pick to be the mastermind by a lot of people, me included. Because unlike him, other popular pick like Rose, J and Eden have already kind of established a "true character" for themselves that would be harmed in the case of a mastermind plottwist.

Basically those picks, in my opinion, would have character moments that would be ruined and feel pointless if they were the mastermind

Whit however doesn't have much to sacrifice if he is the mastermind mainly because he's already tied up in a bunch of character contradictions unlike other picks. These contradictions can be explained without him being the mastermind but he's really the only one who has those contradictions without having been called out yet (like David).

Also, hot take abound, I don't know why people tie the theme grief so much to Whit's character when actually the main thing that's really been brought up so far with him is idolization.

In fact his secret quote, a thing that seems to incapsulate a character's most important moment, is not about his grief but about him idolizing his mom.

I'm not saying Whit's grief isn't an issue for him, it definitely is, but I mostly mean that people are already posting theories ahead of chapter 2 about how charles will die so that Whit will be able to process his grief properly.

Which I feel is a bit too stereotypical ? It definitely feels like the most obvious path for Whit's archetype.

People associate him rejecting negative emotions as him not wanting to deal with grief but I think it's more likely that he's created a persona tied to his mother that he doesn't want to shatter.

In fact in the David music video thing, the words highlighted in pink is brainwashed and degraded copy. Almost as if he got rid of his personality and replaced it with something else.

Really the only time we've got hints at Whit and grief, is him never talking about his mom dying and also his response to Teruko's grieving response.

[nyoomerr]

i've spoken about this in a couple discord chats already but the idea of a binggeyuan frieren au is so so tasty and yet there is no fucking way i am ever going to attempt it bc i just KNOW it would be sad in order to be good

the idea of bingge traveling alongside frail mortal shen yuan for some years, watching the way sy interacts with the world, letting sy coax him into using his immense power to help save some group of people (or beasts, or whatever strikes sy's fancy). bingge goes along mostly for amusement - life gets quite boring, when you're as old and powerful as he is - and at the end of everything he goes his own way without thinking twice.

later - much, much later - bingge thinks that things have gotten quite boring again, and he wants to go find the little mortal that had amused him for some years.

the little mortal is dead.

bingge is furious, of course. he hasn't allowed anyone to deny him anything for centuries now, and he hasn't had to actually deal with a mortal's death in nearly as long for the way he surrounds himself with other powerful demons and cultivators. the solution is simple, though: bingge will simply resurrect shen yuan.

but since shen yuan has been dead for years at this point, there is no body to easily restore, and in this au there wouldn't be so many convenient resurrection tools in this universe to begin with. it would turn into the whole frieren-esque adventure, perhaps with bingge picking up a kid that shen yuan had been mentoring before his death - perhaps one of bingge's own neglected kids, in fact, that shen yuan had picked up in part bc he missed bingge.

and as bingge adventures onwards towards a miracle resurrection tool, he'll occasionally run into situations that could easily be solved through pure power and callousness, and he... won't. he'll think about the way sy would scold him for being cruel, and he'll sulk and throw tantrums but in the end he'll avoid whatever the easy but cruel option was. the journey will take far longer for bingge than it necessarily would have to, because the goal of the journey has put sy at the front of his mind and now he can't stop thinking about all the stupid ""lessons"" sy had tried to give him.

and this is why i could not write this au: the most fitting ending i can think of for this au would be that the only way to resurrect shen yuan would be through some horrific sacrifice of hundreds of other innocent lives, and bingge would choose not to do it.

it would make him furious - it would drive him to the edge of qi deviation, to the edge of declaring some stupid pointless war just so he can work out his anger and get those innocent souls to resurrect shen yuan anyway. but he wouldn't. this whole slow adventure has reminded him bit by bit of just why he'd spent so long following that foolish little mortal shen yuan around, of the way that living a kinder life had felt so relaxing after years of constantly being ready to spill blood at a moment's notice.

shen yuan would be so disappointed in bingge if he choose that method of resurrection, and so bingge can't do it. bingge would be unsatisfied with that method of resurrection, just because he'd know sy would dislike it.

shen yuan stays dead, but his memory haunts bingge for the rest of his nearly immortal life, and bingge ever so slowly shapes himself into what that memory was.

[number1greedlingfan]

Headcanons that are meaningless to everyone but me (or extremely niche inside jokes formed by my friend group)

Hawkeye finds pleasantries, mostly "hello"s and "goodbye"s, pointless and kind of annoying. She'll sometimes engage in them in person but never over the phone. She often hangs up while the other person is mid "bye".

Havoc's "tried and true" opener on dates is that he prefers rainy weather because he, quote, "loves to curl up by the window with a good book and some tea". This is not only a bold-faced lie, but it hasn't helped him get past the first date so it's not any more effective than his other lines.

Fuery pulls more women than Havoc does (not that there was any competition lmao) but he is somehow unaware of this.

Mustang's singular hobby that he does purely for fun is building model ships. His only social interaction is with his coworkers because he does not have any other friends.

Ed thinks Winry is cooped up in her shop all day and all night but that's literally only when he shows up because he DOES IT UNANNOUNCED!! Winry has a thriving social life both in Resembool and Rush Valley. She knows every single person in Resembool and keeps tabs on the neighbors. She's invited to dinners and group outings all the time. People mourned when she moved to RV. Within a month of working at Garfiel's, she'd already met most of the people on the street and she remembers most of their names.

Because of her interests, it's often assumed that Winry is a "not like other girls" type but she is the exact opposite. If you say a single misogynistic thing about other girls' interests (like astrology or pop music) on a first date she is getting up and leaving.

Ling is hypermobile and can bend his hands like this️ ⬇️ as well as do things like back bends and pulling his shoulders out of their sockets. When he was younger he would go up to literally anyone (family members, visiting officials, perfect strangers) and ask if they wanted to see him pull his shoulder out and then not wait for an answer.

Ling's favorite fruit is mango. When he was seven he refused to eat anything but that and had so many that he threw up at a family function. (Mangos were ruined for him for two years.)

Lan Fan does not get sick often but when she does It's Bad and she's taken out for a week or more. When she was younger and delirious with fever, she started distressedly mumbling that she was turning into a cookie. Nothing would convince her otherwise (Fu tried everything). In the end, they had to get Ling to help and he calmed her down in seconds by saying "there are no crumbs so I think you're probably okay".

This is a small one: Lan Fan is on the ace spectrum.

When Mei cooks for other people she makes it as cute as humanly possible. Everything that can have a smiley face or heart on it will. Side note, Al and Mei are 100% a couple that cooks together.

Mei is a little bit fujopilled. You understand.

While he seems shady as hell, Greed's rap sheet is actually pathetically small. The worst crime he's ever committed is, of course, the single instance of kidnapping that we saw on screen.

Greed doesn't understand electricity. He thinks it's powered by electric eels ("eelectricity") and has numerous drawings in his diaries theorizing on the mechanics of these machines. Ex: A generator that has an eel tank with a water wheel inside of it. The drawing is accented with large arrows and question marks and "HOW DOES IT WORK"s. That being said! He's not stupid in all academics. Give this guy some numbers and put it in a financial context and he can calculate anything.

Greed likes the "finer things" but he also has bad taste and sometimes these clash horribly. Is the furniture in his home expensive? Yes. Does any of it match in any conceivable way? Fuck no. Also that nice walnut hutch that cost 1.5K is used solely to display his novelty bong collection.

Heinkel and Darius only became close and discovered the other was gay because of the Camping Trip. So,

[shalotttower]

Hello!!! Could i maybe see some reader (maybe begrudgingly?) seeking comfort from L?

hi! this is probably not what you asked for, anon, because "seeking comfort" immediately had this interpretation in my head

but it is what it is

Title: Acclimatization Summary: Post-captivity, Reader struggles with the aftermath of L. Notes: yandere!L, L is dead, Watari is dead, past kidnapping, implied PTSD, paranoia.

You have a new habit now. An array of them, in fact, but this one stands out ��� staring at your phone screen until it goes dark before turning it on again.

Because it feels odd. The weight and shape, and texture; you grew unaccustomed to them during your time with L. So you keep turning it on and off, over and over, without any particular purpose other than just...looking.

The first few weeks you refused to touch it.

Maybe there's a chip inside that allows to watch you through the camera. Or a microphone that records every word you say. A transmitter that broadcasts your location. Those were the thoughts which came and went, present regardless of what you tried to do. They hovered near the periphery of your mind like bees around a flower garden and stung whenever something triggered them: the sound of shuffling footsteps passing by your door, the smell of fresh pastries, older men in formal suits.

Now you're better. Mostly.

Yesterday you went outside and even sat in the park for a bit.

The world seemed so vibrant. So crisp.

So vast, that fifteen minutes was all it took to exhaust you. You came back home, locked the door (all four locks, plus two chains), checked everything twice for no real reason other than making sure. Nothing has changed since your departure.

The curtains were still drawn shut. The air smelled of floor wash from the last cleaning. Your bedroom remained the same, with no signs of tampering.

Nothing was out of place, and yet there's a certain feeling you can't shake off ─ that someone has been here while you weren't around.

You know what it is, of course, this form of hypervigilance; you never were one prone to delusion, despite having an active imagination.

It's not going to vanish overnight, and will require therapy, coping mechanisms, and medication.

But it's okay.

You're okay.

And your new phone is just a phone.

---

Sometimes you think about him. Not always on purpose, and never in great detail, but it's hard to completely forget a person who squeezed himself in every single aspect of your life for two years, and even after that.

Because this apartment you live in isn't yours. You bought it on the money he left you.

This phone in your hands doesn't belong to you. You bought it on the money he left you.

Your clothes are new, your fridge is stocked full, the bills are paid, and it's all on the money he left you.

You wonder if he planned it from the very beginning. If he knew that it was going to be like that ─ him and Watari both gone, so abruptly and suddenly that you'll be left behind with nothing but questions which will never find answers.

That you will need footing after losing the ground beneath your feet ─ again ─ and having to adjust to the world around, again.

You wish to say that you don't need his money or anything else (he didn't leave anything else). That you are fine on your own without his help, but lying to yourself is pointless when the truth stares right in your face.

It took two months before you were able to go outside.

How long will it take to start looking for a job?

Another two?

A strange sort of comfort exists in knowing there's no pressing need for immediate income.

It's not the type of comfort you wish to have, but it's the only one you receive.

[larissa-the-scribe]

Tell Me About This Time Loop, Again?

And so it begins... @inklings-challenge

Day 12

In Zo's mind, it never felt like the day was properly begun until Lyn woke up, looked around at the room they'd been staying in, frowned, and said—

Day 13

"Where are we? And why does it feel so... familiar?"

"Well you see," Zo replied, as he always did, peeking at the underside of the egg he was frying, "we're stuck in a time loop."

Day 14

"A time loop?" Lyn swung her feet over the side of the bed, seeming to realize for the first time that she was in one.

"Don't worry, it's clean." After confirming they were, indeed, in a time loop, one of the first things he had suggested was finding a comfortable place to set up camp. Somehow it had worked, and they had ended up there every time things reset. "And there doesn't seem to be anyone around, so I don't think we're stealing or trespassing." 

Lyn raised an eyebrow. 

Day 15

"Well, we might be, but no one minds. It's a ghost town. Everyone seems to have disappeared." And since it was a time loop, they never ran out of cooking gas. Or food supplies. That, at least, was convenient. 

"Disappeared?" Lyn stood up, adjusting her shirt from how it had gotten scrunched up in the night. Despite her attempts to look bright-eyed and alert, he could see the sleepiness that still hung from her eyes. 

Day 16

"Our best guess so far is that it's connected to the time loop." Zo flipped the eggs. If this all persisted, he could open up a fried-egg restaurant once they got out; he was getting an absurd amount of practice flipping eggs.

"That makes sense." Lyn padded over to the window, still barefoot, and pushed the shutters open. "Do we have any evidence, or is that just, well, a guess?" 

Her gaze swept the view, which he knew without looking was nothing more than the empty lines of blocky, one-story buildings and the too-smooth black-top of the streets. The neighborhood was pressed together as if sheltering from the plains beyond the town, with such a veneer of newness covering it all that each house might have been churned out of a factory yesterday. They hadn't been, though, considering the subtle signs of wear and tear inside the houses. 

"Eh, a bit of both. Something weird is clearly going on with the area, and we know time is affected, too, so it's a logical guess that the two are connected. Whether that means some psycho wiped the town out before setting up their experiment, or just that their timey-wimey dealybob messed up physics in general is still up for debate. Do you want toast?"

"Yes, please."

Day 17

"Good. We have to finish the bread before it goes stale." Zo left the 'in case we get to the next day' implicit.

"I'm surprised we still have butter. I thought it would have gone bad in your pack."

"It smells a bit odd, but so far we haven't been affected by it."

Day 18

"Okay, but how do you know we're in a time loop?" Lyn asked, setting the table. 

They were in a ground-level studio apartment, so the dining room, kitchen, and bed were all in the same space. No couch, which Zo took to mean that the owner was either poor or a cheapskate. Either way, it was disappointing. Still, the carpet wasn't bad. He'd slept on worse.

"Because you've asked me that so many times I've lost track of the number," Zo said, "and you seem thoughtful every time, like you're not as surprised as you thought you'd be." 

She nodded and set a fork down carefully, wearing the expression she always did just then, brows squeezing down over far-away eyes.

"In all fairness, though," Zo clarified, "I mostly lost track because I wasn't really counting, and then it seemed pointless to start. It's been over two weeks, though, I'm fairly certain."

Day 19

She smiled, and the tension in her brows eased a bit. "This all does feels familiar. Like, I don't remember the other days, but all of this feels like I should, somehow, know what happens next. But I don't."

"I do know," Zo replied, "and it's getting a bit tiresome."

"Fair."

Zo nodded, slotting toast into the toaster. "Very. Whoever owned this place pretty much only had eggs in their fridge. I'm not sure how many more days in a row I can eat those without losing my mind."

Lyn looked up sharply.

Day 20

"Relax," he said, waving his spatula, "they respawn every day, so I don't think it's even technically stealing. If it is, we can pay them back later. There's a fully-stocked but unmanned convenience store down the road, one which we have very nobly not taken anything from, every single day."

"Good," Lyn sighed. "After all, if we get out today, we wouldn't want to be rewarded by jail for petty theft." She tacked on a fierce look at the end of the sentence.

Zo shrugged, and let Lyn interpret the gesture as she would. "Eggs are almost done."

Day 21

"Good. I'm weirdly hungry. Also, thank you for breakfast."

"Don't mention it," Zo smiled. "It's nothing I haven't done many times before."

[p0is0n-b0ttle]

Two Cats Stuck in a Vent (One-Shot)

Word Count: 8186

Description: Noir gets stuck in a vent and has to call the only person she can trust for the job

Notes: No use of Y/N, instead your hero name Noir is used, no physical descriptions except for the hero suit with a set design. Basic power description for this fic is the suit is alive and his name is Khaane, (if you are aware of the show Miraculous it’s legitimately just Cat Noir with a few tweaks) the suit is black, has cat ears, and a belt tail. Khaane can speak to reader in her mind *like this* Reader is also a vampire but it’s a secret, if you’re interested in how I think the suit looks you can see my art, keep in mind the art is separate from the fic, only the suit is in the fic and its basically just the way I see Noir when I read the fic. Also this is my first fic I’m posting in 7 years so plz be gentle :’D more notes at the end!

TW: afab reader, vamp!reader, very suggestive themes, almost dry humping, cursing, a smidge of angst, blood, mentions of violence (it’s an Adrian Chase fic, fork found in kitchen), detached limbs, no smut but god are they both horny, NOT established relationship (they pining)

“—And I just thought, who would be the best hero to help find him, and of course it had to be you! Since— well, you know…” The old lady, Edna, she called herself, gestured to Noir's cat ears that sat on top of her head. 

Noir crosses her arms and gives a slight scowl to the old lady. “Are you one of those people who think I'm actually part cat?” She says in an annoyed questioning tone.

Edna chuckles a bit, surprising Noir with how casual she was with a known criminal, even if some think of her as the hero she once was. “Honey, my eldest daughter absolutely adores you. There isn’t a day that goes by when she doesn’t mention you, and she just so happened to tell me that you are part cat, since your ears and tail move just like those fuzzy little angels. There is absolutely no need to be ashamed!” 

Edna puts a hand on her shoulder, which Noir promptly removes casually. The whole being part animal isn’t a uncommon misconception of her and the other heroes that weld these gifted powers, but it's not exactly a smart idea to correct the information, since the less knowledge on these powers keeps everyone safe from their identities being revealed. 

Noir rolls her eyes as the old woman keeps yapping about how she could just ‘talk to him, you’ll probably get along‘ and ‘I heard furries are acceptable now, not that I really understand it much’, but Noir interrupts her with a raised hand and tired voice, “Just tell me where you last saw him and I will try my best to find him, no promises though.” 

Edna smiles, obviously not bothered by Noir's rudeness, and informs her of where she last saw her “baby”. After dodging another pointless and draining conversation with Edna, she leaves to go searching.

Noir, the supposed strongest wielder out of all the heroes who share her power, once celebrated for her and her partners heroic deeds by defeating powerful enemies and protecting the innocent, given medals for bravery and honor, and currently has more blood on her hands then most criminals, was now on a mission.

A mission to find a lost goddamn cat.

Reduced to this meaningless bullshit, she doesn’t even know why she agreed to this. Thinking more about it, it’s probably because Harcourt sent the group home early since the plan to stop the rest of the White Dragons goons needed more time to prepare, which left her mission-less. 

On top of the fact that Adrian didn't want to patrol tonight, which was a first. He’s usually making up excuses to go on patrol, mostly with her, but tonight he had said something about a new episode of Fargo being on and wanting to watch it live for once. 

He had asked her to join and watch with him, and said he wanted to “Fargo and chill, but actually chill… maybe” She immediately brushed off the ‘chill’ part with an eye roll but he insisted she would probably like the show. She explained she hadn’t watched any of it, nor even heard of the show before, where he excitedly started explaining the plot in either very close detail, or little to no detail which confused the plot for her further.

She declined the offer telling him she needed to go out tonight, insinuating that she was hungry. Adrian immediately understood and told her to enjoy her meal, then hopped in his car to drive home, leaving her alone for the night.

Adrian Chase was one of a kind, no doubt about it. His constant rambling and murderous intent was alluring to her. She enjoyed his company more than she would ever admit, and even after he had accidentally found out about her secret, she didn't kill him. She realized she couldn’t, especially not after he had accepted it so openly with no judgment. 

He had even gone as far as to help her with finding criminals to feed on when she was too weak to do it herself. Though she was never truly too weak to do it, she just honestly adored the way he cared so deeply about her health, and her diet. He’d torture criminals into telling him their blood type, just because she enjoyed certain types. He admitted to looking into how to drain blood from the body, how to keep it as fresh as possible to ensure it was still to her liking, and since she could only drink dead-man's blood he had offered to keep detached limbs in his freezer just in case she needed it.

She quickly expressed how much he didn't need to do that, the kindness toward something no one knew about left her far more flustered then it should have. 

Even worse, when she confided in him that she had always worried that drinking the blood of evil would turn her evil, he had offered his own blood to her since he was O negative, the only type of blood she could drink from someone still living.

The trust Adrian had to allow for even the thought of risking his life for Noir, scared her.  Even though she’s well aware of having the ability to not suck all the blood from his body in one go, she wouldn’t allow herself to put Adrian in that position for risk alone. Not to mention the intimacy of getting so close to him while on a blood high, her teeth sunken into his neck, lips touching his skin-

Her thoughts about Adrian were interrupted by a loud crashing sound in an alley nearby. She quietly makes her way over to the sound and spots a black and white blur scurry right towards her. 

She wasn't expecting the cat to run directly at her as soon as she turned into the alley, and the cat apparently wasn't expecting her to be there either, as its run screeches to a stop it stares at her as its breath heaves. 

She holds her hands out and crouches closer to the ground, trying to be less intimidating towards the small frightened animal. “No need to be scared, just let me bring you back home—“

The cat bolts right past her, so she tries strategically tackling it and ends up missing. Her right cat ear twitches as she refrains from growling in anger as she watches it run down the sidewalk away from her.

*Very elegant of you Noir.* Khaane’s voice rattles in her head. She tells Khaane to shut the fuck up as she slowly picks herself up from the dirty ground. 

She dusts herself off, muttering something about her dignity before she breaks off into a run after the cat. 

She watches as it scurries into another alleyway to its right, and she follows but stays outside the alleyway once more. The cat quickly climbs up a garbage bin and jumps onto a fire escape above it, then it runs up the metal stairs onto the roof. 

Noir rubs her face in frustration with one hand, and uses her other hand to unsheath her staff to use as a vaulting pole to get on the roof. She lands on the roof mumbling curses at the cat's invasions to her help. 

The cat turns around at the sound of the Noir’s landing, and as soon as he spotted her, he runs in the direction of an open vent and jumps into it. Noir hangs her head and sighs, then starts to make her way over to the vent.

“I should have made your owner pay me for this bullshit.” Noir mutters as she starts to crawl into the vent slowly. Luckily it was blocked off by another metal grate at the end, leaving the cat trapped, unable to bolt away again. 

She slowly makes her way through the short vent, with every inch she went, got narrower and narrower. She had to squish her shoulders a bit to fit even some of her upper body in. Using her legs on the ground of the roof, she pushes herself into the vent further.

”Come here you stupid fucking feline.” Noir says as she attempts to army crawl unsuccessfully toward the cat, the vent fighting her as she pushes her way into it.

She hardly gets her waist into the opening of the vent before she reaches for the cat, but it backs up further away from her. With her feet still planted firmly on the ground she quietly growls as she squeezes herself farther in using her forearms. 

The vent starts to groan at the strain.

*Noir, be careful.* 

“Fucking— Relax Khaane, I've got it. “ She spits out angrily, then reaches for the cat again and misses. He flattens himself against the wall of the vent, attempting to stay as far from Noir's hands as possible. 

“You dumbassfuckingcunt—“ She steadies herself to push harder into the vent which in turn gives a louder straining noise. The pressure of the metal squeezing her as she desperately tries to get farther in. 

Her hands move to go for the cat once more, only a inch away from him. She leans in farther, trying to ignore the sound.

*Noir…*

“Ive-“ She puts one leg into the vent, her knee digging into the metal.

”Almost-“ Her other leg follows.

Now on both knees, she’s so close to the cat she can feel the fur on her thin gloves. She sucks all her breath in as she finally gets close enough to grab him.

The vent creaks ominously as she goes to wrap her hands around the cat's torso.

*Noir! You’re going to—*

“Got him!” As soon as she grabs onto the cat firmly, her hips shift into the vent with a clunk. 

Khaane groans, but she ignores it as she smirks at the cat triumphantly, but her victory is short lived as the pain in her shoulders finally spreads to her collarbones as her bones start to finally feel the pressure the tight space provides.

She hisses in pain, and immediately moves to back out, attempting to put her feet back onto the ground when she discovers a problem. 

She’s stuck. 

She lets go of the cat during her squabble with the vent, trying to desperately inch her way backwards to no avail. Her shoulders never even budge as she squirms and wiggles in an attempt to escape. 

After swearing and struggling for almost 30 minutes, she finally accepts that she is truly stuck. 

At this point the cat had decided Noir was no longer a threat, and was now laying down watching the scene unfold in front of him, almost looking amused.

She sighs in defeat and drops her head to the metal floor with a bang, and finally gives Khaane what he wants.

”Fine. Fucking— fine. You win. I should have listened to you—asshole. What are our options?” Khaane hums in thought.

*You wont like it.*

”The fuck do you mean ‘I wont like it’. Just tell me so I can get out of here!” 

*You're going to have to call Adrian to help you.*

”Nope. No way.” Noir starts to frantically shove, squirm and ram herself against the metal surrounding her in a last ditch attempt to free herself. After another 10 minutes of fighting the vent, she goes limp in defeat. 

There is no way she’s going to call Adrian right? She cant be seen like this, fucking stuck and vulnerable. He’ll lose every ounce of respect he has for her if he sees her this weak looking. But she cant call Harcourt, she’s working on the plan for the mission tomorrow, and so is John most likely. Chris was never even an option since he’d probably leave her here for laughs, She didn't know anyone else who could help.

Except Adrian. 

With an angry growl and one last very aggressive flail, she sighs and admits defeat. 

“Call Adrian.” 

Only after two short rings does he pick up.

”Heya kitty, how's the hunt going tonight?” He answers cheerfully, a complete opposite on how Noir currently feels, even if his voice somewhat melted a little tension away from her aching shoulders. She sighs,

“I need you to come help me with something.” Immediately there is shuffling on the other end.

”Are you hurt—Did someone hurt you? You never ask for my help—“ His frantic worry fills Noir with guilt so she attempts to stop that train ride from going any further. 

“I'm not hurt, I'm not in danger, I just— uhm…” She trails off, unsure if she should go through with asking him to drop whatever he was doing to help. He could always just say no. 

“Do you need help hiding a body? Because if i'm honest, that’s not really in my wheelhouse. Don’t get me wrong, I'll still help! I'm thinking maybe buying like—five blenders to shred the body would— no that wouldn’t work, bones and shit—tsk— honestly I'm out of ideas.” 

Noir hated this feeling of helplessness. Needing help was rare for her. She’s been doing just fine on her own, maybe she could just wait this out, but part of her knows she'll still be stuck here if she doesn’t ask. 

”Noir? Are you there?”

”Yeah, Im-I'm here, just— uhm— no blenders needed, there’s no bodies— uhm…”

The cat in front of her decided to finally do something other than stare at her, and he meows loudly as he paws at her nose. 

“Was- was that… you?” Adrian asks in a surprised tone. Noir glares at the furry menace,

”No. That wasn't me. Look, I’m—“ She sighs and bangs her head on the ground.

”I'm stuck.” She admits.

“Like, on a equation, orrrrr—“ 

”I'm stuck in a vent and I can't get out on my own.”

There is just silence from the other side that fills her with unease, maybe she should have waited—

“So you need me to come get you out?” He asks, still slightly confused. 

“Yes, but I know you're busy with your Fargo so… It’s honestly not a huge deal, I-I can wait if-“

”Aww kitty, I'll happily come help you! I’m guessing you already called Chris and he was busy—“

”I do not trust Chris enough to come help me with this. That douchebag would probably post this on the internet and ruin my reputation. In absolutely no world would I have trusted him with this.”

Adrian is silent for a moment, the rustling on the other end stopping as well.

”… Are you saying… you trust me?”  Noir could hear the happiness seeping through his question, that dopey smile slowly taking over his face flashed through her mind. She shook that thought away quickly, the blush that threatened to show up was embarrassing on its own, but she blamed the situation itself. No other reason for that. Definitely no other reason…

”How fast can you get here?” Dodging the question, she attempts to move again to try and get herself focused on the issue, and not the sweet relief she felt at the joy of his revelation towards her trust toward him.

“As fast as humanly possible!”

————————

After a little while, she hears footsteps slowly make their way over to where she was. A choking noise came from Adrians mouth as she started to try to get herself out on her own after a few minutes of him watching her tail swing in silence. Definitely only looking at her tail…

”You gonna stare, or are you gonna help?” She hisses in embarrassment. Her face finally starts to warm as she realizes the view he must have on his end. Adrian starts to walk closer towards her and clears his throat to speak,

”How exactly can I help if you— uhm— can't be touched?” He asks warily, as if the question could cause her to run far far away, which, yeah, she definitely wanted to at this point.

”What the hell are you talking about?” She says in confusion.

”Well it's just that… You always push away anyone who goes to touch you, so I try not to… you didnt even accept my high-fives… Or Harcourts hand shakes… I'm prrrrretty sure you almost bit me one time when I put my hand on your face—“

”OKAY— Point made, Vig!” She was not about to delve into that. She groans as she digs the heels of her palms into her eyes.

”Look, I trust you okay? Just— do what you need to do to get me out.” She moves arms uncomfortably, or attempts to at least. Is that why he stopped trying to high five her after every mission and instead high-fiving his own hand while looking in her direction? She just figured he gave up, but was it an attempt to make her more comfortable? Even the rest of the group still attempts to make contact without thinking, but he respects her space…

Fuck— he cares so much about her it made her dizzy.

“Fucks sake— Ill hug you at this point if you get me out! Just try at least!” She jumps as a warm hand pats her ass a few times almost as a test after a moment. The almost burning touch lit her face up more, almost triggering her fight or flight response. 

“Relax kitty, I'll get you outta there in a jiffy! No way am I missing out on an offer like that!” She hears him crouch closer, both of his hands land on the lower part of her hips as he tilts her to the left and right. 

She hears him still as he takes a deep breath in, his hands twitch on her sides before he clears his throat again. 

“I'm going to try and pull you out now, okay?” His voice slightly strains as he speaks, his hands twitching again. Noir hums in acknowledgment and puts her head on her arms as she waits.

He steadies one foot on the bottom of the opening of the vent, the other planted on the ground and pulls her hips toward him. 

Her shoulders barely move as he tries again with a little more strength, but not enough, as if he’s trying not to hurt her. 

“Vig, I’m not made of glass. You can use all your strength, you’re gonna need to,” The faster this ends, the faster her dignity can reform. If she couldn’t get herself out, he definitely wouldn’t be able to with how delicate he was being. 

“Trust me.” She growls out reluctantly. He tries again, she could tell he still isn't using his full strength. 

“Fuck— you’re really stuck in there huh? Maybe we should call the fire people…“ He says kneeling down closer to her, his hands slowly, too slowly, make their way to the outsides of her thighs and she twitches at the feeling. His hands subconsciously twitch back in turn.

“Do you- do you mean the fire department? No— no fucking way. I’d rather die here—“ She tries to push herself back in tiny thrusts as she speaks, pushing her upper body on the metal floor for some kind of leverage.

“Fuck— Stop moving like that— you gotta relax kitty.” One of Adrians hands goes to cover his covered mouth as he rips eyes away from the direct view of her ass moving in his face. The other hand starts to absentmindedly trace circles into the back of her thigh with his thumb causing her to pause. 

When his other hand goes back to her other thigh, mimicking the movement that feels far too good then it possibly should, she bites back a groan and covers her face with her hands. 

She bites her lip as he sits there in thought, his thumbs start to slowly add more and more pressure, digging into the muscles of her thighs.

“Shit kitty, you are tense as fuck. Have you ever even had a massage before?” His hands, and attention apparently, start to move up and down the back of her thighs, lightly massaging the tight muscles. 

When his hands just miss the swell of her ass and go back down, she squeaks out a very quiet moan from under her hand, hoping to whatever god was watching that he didn't hear it. He hums in question after she doesn’t answer. 

“N-no.” Is all she’s able to get out. He sucks in a deep breath as he speaks again,

“No offense kitty, but— shit— you look really good right now—“

“Can- can we talk about anything else while you try and think of a way to get me out?” Her brain was short-circuiting at all of the thoughts of him fucking her, and the close physical contact that she hasn’t felt in years, only just keeping calm enough to remind him of his mission again as she has to fight her thighs from squeezeing together.

He pats her thigh twice a little roughly as he moves to get up. He stares for a moment at the way her ass jiggled at the movement and lets out a breathless “Damn..” Then shakes the trance off. 

He starts to walk around the vent, examining it for any weak points that could help as he speaks up again. 

After a bit, he says, “I thought the moon was a chunk of the Grand Canyon that broke off.” Noir’s mouth goes agape, almost squawking as she takes that information in but also thankful for the change in subject. 

“There is no way you actually thought that…” If Khaane could slam his head into a wall, he would be doing just that and in turn, that feeling made Noir want to do the same. 

“I'm not kidding kitty, I thought the moon didn't exist—“ 

“No, no way—“

”No, hear me out! Follow me here! When the meteor hit the planet and killed all the precious dino’s it knocked a chunk of earth off which was part of the Grand Canyon, and it formed into what the moon is.” Noir stayed silent for a moment, then responded with awe in her voice, 

“You think something broke off into space when the meteor that killed the dinosaurs hit the earth? Are you familiar with the Grand Canyon?” 

He was quiet for a moment, most likely looking up into the sky in thought like he usually does when he’s trying to confirm a response in his head, “Yes.” 

“Doesn't sound like it!” She laughs out. Adrian fist bumps the air behind her, silently beaming at making her laugh, even if he doesn’t really know why.

”Okay, well there isn’t any way for me to unscrew the vent apart since its all melted together…” Adrian puts a hand on his chin in thought as he stares at her ass for answers.

”You mean welded together?” Noir asks, feeling slightly more comfortable and less humiliated. 

”Potato tomato. Can’t you just— you know— disintegrate the vent? With your strong cool cat powers?” 

“I could, if I want to disintegrate the feline with it.” She says as she glares at the cat itself, now grooming himself without a worry in the world. 

Adrian hums in thought, and Noir thinks she hears him sit next to the opening of the vent next to her. Why the fuck isn’t Khaane helping? He has more knowledge than the both of them combined, he has just been silent this whole time.

*I'm honestly just enjoying your struggle, you did do this to yourself…*

Noir growls and rubs her face frustratedly. So Khaane isn’t going to help, for his own entertainment, now she’s left with Adrian and her mind. The latter being on hiatus with the whole situation being so… unique…

She can hear Adrian drumming his fingers against the ground as he hums a song she cant place, then he speaks up again,

”Why don't you like to be touched?” The loaded question hangs in the air for a bit. She really didn't want to get into this while stuckinavent but Noir trusts Adrian, so much more than she realizes. Which is why she answers honestly.

”I don't… not like to be touched, but it's a strange dislike. I guess I don't really like to be touched because… I crave it so much— too much.” Being hurt time and time again has led her to this way of thinking, coupled with the fact Khaane believes any form of love is weak. Everything about touching someone— or being touched— is a vulnerable and trusting process, which has burned her too many times before and left Khaane to heal what he could. But in all honesty, he can’t heal mental wounds, and when he tries, he makes them worse.

“That's kinda sad, Noir…” He says with sadness lacing every word.

”Life could be worse, Vig.” She says bluntly, she wants to be held so tightly that she can’t break, but there are so many pieces on the ground. And she'd rather leave them there instead of burdening someone else to clean up what she can’t.

”Life could be alot better, too” He shoots back. Noir stays silent after that, he’s right of course, but she doesn’t deserve a better life. At this point she’d rather be alone than be with the wrong person. Even if she ends up dying alone, which deep in her core she knows is most likely one of her worst fears. 

Her tail swings and hits Adrians leg, and an idea comes to his mind.

”Oh! What if we take your belt off?” He asks, starting to stand up again. 

“Do you really think that will help? It doesn’t feel like my belt is stuck on anything.” Noir says, slightly unsure. She can't remember the last time she actually took her belt off since the suit just appears on her as soon as she wants it to. 

Adrian shrugs, “It can't hurt to try, right?” 

Noir shifts uncomfortably but ultimately agrees. Adrains hands go under the roof of the vent and land on her lower back, and slowly, so fucking slowly, make their way up to the back of her belt. His hands follow the belt to go to reach under her, but stop when they hit the sides of the vent. 

“Huh… Guess I have to go underneath.” His hands retract, then tap the insides of her thighs a few times which causes her to jump and cover her face as it somehow gets warmer. 

“Open those legs more kitty.” Noir shuts her eyes and shifts her legs open wider. This is fine, totally fine! He’s just a friend. Just a friend helping her get unstuck. Totally platonic!

Adrians left hand rests itself on the back of her thigh, the other reaches underneath her and lands just underneath her chest. His chest makes contact with her thighs, and she can feel how close and warm he is. She bit her lip as the hand on her thigh started to move in circles again in a soothing way, but she wouldn’t exactly call what she felt very soothing. 

The hand underneath her slowly drags down across her stomach, searching for the buckle to her belt. As it went lower and lower she finally let out a shiver at the vulnerable spot he was touching so softly. The heat between her legs that she had been desperately ignoring was now making itself very known.

Completelyplatoniccompletelyplatoniccompletelyplatonic

Something told her he was going a little slower then he needed to, but she wasn't about to start complaining. 

His hand finally finds its destination, and with a click, the belt comes undone. She breathes out a sigh of relief as he pulls it out from underneath her.

He leans back on his heels still crouched and takes a closer look at the belt. The staff, pouch and tail connected to it caused so many questions he needed answers to, so he asks, “Can your tail still move when it isn’t connected to you? Like a lizard, or a starfish? Also, can I look in your pouch?” 

Noir quickly thinks of anything embarrassing that might have been left inside of it, and comes up with nothing.

”Sure, I guess. And no, the tail can't move anymore since it's not connected to the suit, but Vig you need to stay focused. I’d really enjoy getting out before it gets dark.” 

After a few moments of Adrian going ‘hmm’ and ‘ohhh’ while he looks at the contents of her belt pouch, eventually he returns to the task at hand. At least it gave her time to recover a little bit.

He claps his hands together and rubs them, “Okay kitty, lemme try and pull you out again.” He stands up and reaches back into the vent again, grabbing her hips like the first time.

After a few more pulls with no success, he maneuvers her legs to wrap around his waist and wraps his arms around each leg, bracing his foot against the vent for leverage. Noir locks her feet against his back and takes a shaky breath.

Adrian slowly starts to lean backward, relying on gravity to do its thing. Soon after he yanks slightly, then tries again harder when nothing budges. He huffs out after it doesn’t work with a few more tries, Noir reminds him that he has to go harder. 

The next yank was far more forceful and he lets out a grunt. From this angle she can feel the vibration of it right against her, and it makes her fucking wimper. 

“Did that hurt you?” His grip on her legs starts to fall, and in embarrassment and panic she tightens her legs around him a little. 

“Keep going, I’m fine. Totally fine…” She whispers the last part mostly to herself, and covers her mouth when he goes to yank again. His breath slightly hitches after he grabs at the junction of her hips and leg to get a better grip and presses her ass against him more. 

Adrian adjusts his foot higher on the vent, and a loud groan rips through his chest as he yanks again, a moan gets caught in her hand as bolt of pleasure goes up her spine at the slight relief between her legs when she feels the accents on his suit drag at just the right spot.

At this point she’s fighting with every cell in her body not to start squirming against him, the totally complete practical touches were leaving her so much warmer than she could handle. 

Another grunt comes from Adrian, and in frustration with not getting her loose, he moves her hips right against his crotch for a better angle without thinking. Noir lets out a tiny squeak as her brain goes blank.

He’s about to yank again when he pauses, his hands twitch again but he doesn’t continue pulling.

”I just realized this is exactly like a porno I watch like- just last week.” He says casually, the thumbs that rest on her hips starting to soothe in circles again.

Noir can’t form a coherent thought at this point, but after a few seconds of no response or movement from Adrian— what the fuck is he even doing back there— she removes her hand from her mouth to try and derail that thought from both of their minds.

”I’m— I apologize for interupting your Fargo show, the one time you take the day off from patrolling and of course I fuck it up—“

”What? Kitty, you didnt fuck anything up. You needed my help so of course I came, I’d drop anything to come and help you!” Adrian starts to rub her back lightly, but as he continues he starts to massage the tight knots in her lower back making her drop her head as her eyes roll into the back of her head as she groans at the pleasure.

”Besides, I was already recording it, so it's not a big deal. I'll just wait for start of the next season to watch it live-“ That snaps her out of the haze he was putting her under as her head shoots up in shock, and it hits the top of the vent with a bang, the cat in front of her jumps at the sound and glares at her.

She groans as she rubs the top of her head, Adrians hands on her back start moving faster as he asks if she’s okay. Of course she’d interrupt him when he wanted to watch a finale of his favorite show, she’s such a fucking idiot.

”I can't believe I bothered you during a finale— god—I'm such a dick—“

“Noir, you don't bother me, you’ve never bothered me, you couldn’t bother me. I promise you, you’re not a dick, and it's not a big deal—“ He tries to quickly comfort her, as much as he loves Chris, Adrian has heard his fair share of being a bother to his friend, even if he thinks Chris is just being emotionally defensive most of the time. It still makes him feel like shit when he hears it but plays it off.

”But it was important to you, and that’s a big deal to me.” She groans and rubs her face, guilt eating her alive at this point. Adrian is glad she can't see the bashful smile that appears on his face thanks to his mask and the vent. 

”I'm such a shitty friend.” She eventually says sadly, the guilt seeping its way through the statement. She already doesn’t think she deserves a friend like Adrian, now she knows she doesn’t deserve his kindness, his laughter, his loyalty. But Adrian isn’t about to let her think that way,

“Don’t say that— you are not a shitty friend. Kitty, I wanted to help you, I’d rather spend time with you more than anything else in the world. Especially if I get to stare at your ass the entire time.” She could hear the smirk on his face as he said the last part, the fact she could tell he was telling the truth made her squirm against him subconsciously.

”Alright, enough with the evil self loathing scorpions kitty, let's get you out, okay?” His hands go back to where they were before on her hips as Noir tries to sort through the wave of emotions she was feeling. She finally settles on an idea that comes to mind.

”I’ll watch Fargo with you from the beginning if that makes up for it.” She sheepishly says, the nervous tone coming from a rejection she was waiting to hear back. Instead she hears an excited gasp from him.

“For real? Are you being for real right now because holy fuck that would be so fucking awesome— It’s a long show so you’d have to come over a ton to finish it but you won’t see me complaining. I can make popcorn and we can have sleepovers-“ 

“If you get me out in the next five minutes I’ll think about a sleepover, alright?” Her smile started when she realized he was rambling again, his excitement started to seep into her chest as she felt his hands get tighter and tighter the more he went on.

Adrian goes back to yanking Noir, not getting anywhere still. He huffs out one last time in frustration, then Noir yelps as she feels him quickly lift her ass over his chest right under his chin, with his body now leaning fully back and both feet planted on the vent the only thing keeping him from falling on the ground is now Noirs stuck form. 

His hands lock together underneath her stomach. His arms over he legs caging her in completely. Noir lets out a shaky breath and covers her burning face with her hands again. 

With a strong yank, Noir finally feels her shoulders move back, just a little bit,  “It’s working! Keeping going!” She attempts to help by pushing herself with her forearms on the ground of the vent, and with another yank and a grunt from Adrian she feels a slight relief in her collarbones. The thought of almost getting out of the damn vent has clouded over her thoughts, no longer caring about how close they were, or the risqué position they were both in. 

“Holy shit— yes— Come on Vig— You— gotta— go— harder—“ Each time she spoke he yanked with more pressure, his grunts getting louder and louder as she finally started to inch back some more. She started to feel his arms shake from the strength he was using, if she wasnt more durable in the suit he probably would have cracked one of her bones at this point, but he kept going and she kept getting closer millimeter by millimeter. 

Eventually she feels the pressure on her arms start to lessen, then a familiar clunk noise causes adrenaline to shoot through her. She’s almost out. 

She can now hear the vent slowly creaking again as it fights to keep her locked in, but she starts to feel her shoulders lighten, she squeezes her eyes shut and starts to push back even more against the vent to help Adrian more. Noir slowly starts to feel herself winning against the vent as she slides backwards.

”Fuck— yesyesyesyesyesyes!” In a flash, she's outside the vent. Adrian groans as she lands on top of him, he now lays on his back with her just above him, his knees holding her upright against her chest. 

Noir blinks a few times to adjust to the difference in light, and realizes the cat she was hunting is now in her hands. Khaane must have grabbed him for her when she was to busy being ecstatic that she was actually getting out. 

Noir stares back at the cat with a triumphant smirk, “Got you, you little shit.” The cat growls lowly at her, but doesn’t squirm from her grip, he just accepts defeat and hangs limply in her outstretched hands. 

Noir continues basking in her victory until she feels Adrians hands do that familiar twitch on the back of her thighs where they keep her from crushing him. She slowly turns her head around, twisting her body to see him and— oh my god—

She’s basically sitting on his face. Her cunt about an inch away from him. Noir scrambles up, using one of her hands to push herself off of Adrian using his knee, unintentionally spreading his legs wider and he groans in what she is going to call… pain (it wasn’t pain).

As she stands up nothing but apologies come from her mouth, but she goes silent after nothing comes from the masked unmoving hero. He’s just laying on the ground still, his hands resting on his chest as he looks like he’s trying to regulate his breathing. 

Noir stands there with the cat in her hands with a worried look, and after another minute or two, she nudges Adrian with her foot lightly, “You good?” 

The only response she gets is a thumbs up, which thumps back down onto his chest quickly. Noir smiles lightly, and crouches down next to his head to look into the visor at his closed eyes. 

“Thank you for helping me Vig. I really appreciate you coming here to free me, and sorry— about almost riding your face.” Adrians breath hitches, and a twitch goes through him. 

After another moment, the cat in her hands meows and Adrian's eyes open at the sound. He looks at the cat in her hands, then up at her and her heart skips a beat as she sees his eyes crinkle behind the visor as he smiles underneath the mask. After a slow breath he clears his throat and speaks, 

“It was absolutely positively no problem kitty, I'm siked I was able to help you out.” Noir holds out a hand for him to grab, and he takes it with both of his hands. She pulls him up and has to steady him as he wobbles on his feet a bit. 

They stare at each other, Noir bashfully smiles at him then after a beat, she speaks in a monotone voice, “Let's never talk about this again.”

Adrian chuckles and puts his hands on his hips as he shakes his head, “Sorry kitty, but there isn’t a chance in hell that I won’t bring this up again.” Noir groans as she rolls her eyes, the cat in her hands starts to squirm a bit reminding her of his presence. 

“Well, I have to return this guy back to his owner… You wanna come with?” Adrian nods his head frantically, and starts marching over to one of the ladders.

”Let’s go!”

”Other way Vig.” Noir smirks as he quickly turns around on his heel.

”I knew that! I was just testing if you knew… Let's go!”

————————

The walk to Edna's house started with Adrian telling Noir that ‘she looked like one of those raccoons with its head stuck in a tin can’, ‘have you ever seen those really cute and funny videos of cats getting stuck in boxes?’, ‘pretty sure I saw a video of a hedgehog with a McDonald’s fry bag stuck on its head’ and probably every other variation of “animal being stuck” that he could think of. 

Eventually he started telling her about Fargo. Noir had noticed when Adrian gets really into rambling about something he really likes he starts to curse like a sailor. Khaane counted 26 ’fucks’ in his 3 minute rant about how Martin Freeman is his favorite actor, but no matter how many times he curses, Noirs smile never faded from her face as she listened intently. 

When they got to the building Edna lives in, she told Adrian to wait in the alleyway next to it. Edna might have a heart attack seeing him, and the less alive people that knew about them working together the better. 

Noir knocks on the door a few times, adjusting the fluffy creature in her hands, as she waits she looks over to the alleyway Adrian is waiting in, and sees his head poking out watching her. She looks away but can't fight the toothy grin that ends up on her face.

Edna opens the door and Noir drops the grin quickly. The old lady laughs in relief as she takes the cat from her outstretched hands. 

“Thank you Noir! I was so worried about my baby boy and look at him! Not a scratch on his fuzzy little head! My daughter will be delighted to know her favorite hero saved Mr. Munchkin’s.” Edna scratches at the cat's head as she speaks and has a warm smile on her face as she talks to Noir.

The ‘hero’ rubs the back of her neck awkwardly, the praise making her a little nervous. “You should probably get a collar for him in case this happens again, and think about getting him chipped, it would make things a lot easier next time around. Just to be safe.” She says, trying to avoid the whole hero argument. 

Edna starts to go on about how she’ll think about it, and some weird conspiracy shit she read on Facebook one time about someone being able to control the cat from its chip. Noir interrupts her rant with an excuse about needing to help someone else. Edna thanks her again then shuts the door, Noir can hear her sternly telling off her cat from behind it, and walks off back to the alleyway where her friend is waiting. 

Noir turns the corner and stops in shock at what she sees. Adrians hand is outstretched toward her, his chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath. But what’s in his hand is what makes her do a double take. 

He’s holding someone’s detached arm. From what she can tell it’s their left arm, the thick blood from the ‘incision’ is still leaking heavily. Adrian shifts his feet as Noir stares at the limb in shock, still trying to put the pieces together.

Adrian can see she’s struggling with her shock and speaks up, “I got you dinner! I remember you saying you were hungry when we left HQ… and someone was spray painting in the alley across from us so… Are you… not hungry?” His shoulders slightly fall as he realizes she might have ate already, but Noir shakes her head like a etch a sketch to clear her thoughts up. 

“I’m… I'm still hungry… I didn’t get a chance to eat before the old lady asked for help so…” Adrian's entire body springs back to life and he shakes the arm at her excitedly. Noir lets out a breath of a laugh through her nose and grabs the arm from him. Adrian leans forward and starts to rock on his feet as he waits for her to bite, very obviously waiting to watch her eat. 

Noir tries to ignore his watching eyes and sinks her teeth into the forearm and starts to drink from it. Her face softens as she indulges the pure energy it gives her as she continues. The blood high makes her hyper focus, an almost animalistic feeling washes over her as she gives into the ride. The arm starts to almost deflate from lack of liquids and eventually she lets go with a pop.

She wipes the excess blood from her lips with the back of her hand, and takes a glance at Adrian again with dilated pupils. 

“Was it good? It didn’t have any drugs in it right? I asked him if he did any but he was so nervous that I couldn’t tell if he was lying. Also he said he didn’t know his blood type so— yeah…” He trails off as she starts to stare at the flesh and bone in her hand. A smile slowly creeps onto her face as she thinks about how he is way too thoughtful for his own good. 

How could someone— anyone— treat her so nicely? Everything in her tells her that she doesn’t deserve it, that she will never be worth the work, but Adrian is always there somehow batting off those thoughts with a baseball bat in her head. He treats her like she’s everything, and she thinks of herself as if she’s nothing. He deserves something nice for his effort, a gift maybe? What would she even get him?

Noir shakes her head again, her blood high finally starting to lessen. She’ll figure something out for him, he deserves it. Her hand holding the arm starts to glow with a threatening black light, and the arm disintegrates into dust right in front of them.

Noir looks back at Adrian, his body language giving him away completely. He’s nervous, maybe about accidentally drugging her? Noir blows air through her nose and closes her eyes as she rubs her arm awkwardly. Slowly she walks over to him, and stiffly, but very very carefully wraps her arms around his waist and presses herself into him in an attempt at a hug. God she can’t even remember the last time she did this.

Adrian immediately wraps his arms around her in return, squeezing tightly as a content hum leaves him. Noir tips her head down below his chin, leaning on him subconsciously as she starts to melt into the embrace. Her eyes close as the dopamine starts to make her sleepy, her heart pounding as she inhales the scent of kevlar, mint, sweat, coffee, and a hint of dish washing soap. She can hear his heart beating just as fast as hers— god— she feels lightheaded from all the feelings running through her, but she needs to stay on task.

“Thank you Adrian, you’re a really good friend to me. Sorry… I’ve… never really been good at telling people how I feel but… you make me want to try.” Noir pushes her head against his chest a little bit more, taking all the warmth he was so effortlessly offering.

“You don’t have to keep those feelings locked up in your brain kitty, people are like Guinea pigs, they need friends for comfort— or something. I will always be here if you need my help or if you wanna talk, that will never change.” Adrian nuzzles his cheek into her hair affectionately. Noir squeezes him a little tighter as she takes in his words.

Eventually she reluctantly lets go, but does notice his arms linger just a smidge longer than necessary. Noir doesn’t have it in her to look at him, instead looking at the broken cement on the ground. 

Adrian claps then rubs his hands together, “Wanna start Fargo at my place? I have popcorn.” He sings the last part as he tries to entice her into going. She looks up at him and smirks before she rolls her eyes then starts to walk out of the alleyway. 

“Alright, let’s go then.” Adrian fist bumps the air and starts to jog up to we’re she walks, then ultimately asks,

“So… sleep over? Please?” 

Noir lets out a chuckle, “I'll think about it.”

Notes:

— Lemme know what you think! I write a lot tbh but I never post it in fear of not finishing it, or just because it’s not entirely perfect but I’m taking a leap with this one! Also is this way too OC? I struggle with characters that don’t have a set story or power so… idk

— The dialogue about the Grand Canyon is from the Backyard podcast, definitely look them up on tiktok if you want a laugh

— I have so much backstory for Noir, and I have written a little of her story but it definitely needs tweaks but she has tons of potential if y’all like it!

— “I’d rather be alone than be with the wrong person” is from Death Note, also headcanon that Adrian has definitely watched it bc how could he not?

— I’m currently working on a x reader for Daredevil that’s coming along nicely, but this was stuck in my head

— Honestly there has been such a drought in Vigilante fic’s and I’m hoping when season 2 of peacemaker comes out there will be more (my calculations are that it will be done filming by the end of next month yes I did the math also editing should only take about 5 month hopefully don’t get me started how we’ve seen Peacemaker, Harcourt, Adebayo and John on set but no Adrian I’m terrified they changed his suit design or his character) 

[stellocchia]

I absolutely adore the fanon Nightmare Gang found family stuff but... If one of these suckers gets sick they're gonna struggle.

Like, okay, I don't think Nightmare can reasonably get sick. It would make no sense for any virus, bacteria, or parasite to have evolved to survive and thrive in a goop that literally only he posses. He's fine.

But he's also gonna be completely useless when it comes to looking after his team. He would fall for the good old paranoia-inducing mistake of googling the symptoms and finding only death-sentences. And then he's just gonna be miserable and mope until his boys are better.

Killer meanwhile, would logically get sick, but also he would definitely hide it. Like, he was still conditioned by Chara to be a killing machine, no way my guy would just share such a big vulnerability. The others would only find out once he's already in really bad shape and most of the time they wouldn't find out at all.

On the other hand, while I imagine he'd be adept at setting broken bones and the general basic field medicine (again, because of his past he probably had to learn the basics to survive and remain functional), his solution to deal with any actual illness would be "just ignore it until it goes away".

I'm pretty sure Horror is technically already dead, so I don't know if he can get sick... Though I'd say probably? I mean, his body doesn't seem all too different from that of other monsters. Regardless, when sick I say he'd go in full survival mode, build a nest somewhere and be completely unapproachable unless you want your hand chewed off.

On the other hand, being the only one with a living brother and with both of them living in really harsh conditions, he probably has had to handle sickness rather often. Of course, with the lack of resources back in his universe, he mostly had to go for the basics, so his solution is a warm broth and some wet pieces of cloth. At most hot water to disinfect wounds. He's still at least doing something.

Cross is basically like Killer. He doesn't want to appear weak (with a father like his I highly doubt weakness was allowed) so he hides any minor sickness. Though I do think he'd tell, like, Horror if things are getting really bad. If anything, ao he doesn't become a burden for the others during missions.

And, again, much like Killer, I think he definitely would know field medicine. He was trained as a Royal Guard after all, they must have taught him things like that. But actual sickness? Yeah, they probably had medics that handled it when it got too severe. He doesn't know jack shit. His solution is just going to Horror and hoping he's got it handled.

Dust would straight up gaslight himself into thinking he's not sick and that's just his body punishing him for his sins. He literally would not believe it's anything else until someone (again, most likely Horror) pointed it out to him.

And the worst part is that, once he knows, there's no fucking way he'd let anyone treat him for it. That self-loathing fucker would rather suffer through it in some pointless attempt at receiving some form of redemption. He's cooked. Horror would need to tie him to the bed just to force him to get some rest.

So, anyway, this is my propaganda to say let's get at least one Sans who is mentally healthy enough and knowledgeable enough to keep these guys from dying in here.

My vote is for Lust Sans. Just because I love him.

Though someone like Color could also unlock some very fun dynamics. And he may actually get Killer to stop hiding his symptoms like an idiot. And perhaps Cross too. Literally, those guys would lie about getting bit in a zombie apocalypse

[enhaven]

— polaroid love | yang jungwon

pairing: jungwon x reader

genre: fluff, romance, high school!au

word count: 1.5k

summary: wherein a series of polaroid pictures may be helping you realize your feelings towards jungwon

warnings: none really, just two mild swear words XD

a/n: i pulled memories from years ago for this but yeah it's been a while lol happy 20th to my baby wonie 🥺, wishing you the best for this milestone of your life 💕

— masterlist & wips — faq & navigation

"take pictures of me"

a high pitched voice alerts you at once, and it's unfortunately too cute for you to ignore each time he asks you that same phrase when you have a polaroid camera in your hands.

at any chance he gets.

you don’t mind it now, already getting used to the times when Jungwon would just come up to you for basically anything. in the past, you used to question why he acts like this towards you when he doesn’t to others. you’ve grown fond of him, his habits rather but that doesn’t mean that you don’t whisk him away each time he’s near you, be it during lunch or after school clubs.

he’s not hard to love really, with the way he cares for someone and how thoughtful he is in everything that he does, it’s no wonder that anyone would immediately fall in love with him easily.

not you, or yet you think. you’re not really sure at this point though your heart does this weird thing whenever he says your name these days. what’s strange is that you’ve known this as a sign since you’ve fallen in love before but you couldn’t figure out why you’ve been resisting it.

it’s definitely a you problem, not his but you don’t know what to do.

.

lunch is the only time where you can do this. developing the pictures from your polaroid which mostly consist of Jungwon posing cutely in each of them. honestly, you’ve been questioning why cause really could’ve deleted them but here you are instead, just because he’s been asking about it.

he was adamant about needing to have his own copies since he loves posting on socials.

and you, for whatever reason eventually complied, even choosing to do it now and here at school of all times.

looking at them one by one right now, you reminisce the times Jungwon made your heart race as you pick each one of the polaroid pictures. your heart races even more which freaks you out again even though you’re alone in this empty classroom so no one’s here to see you like this.

you’re dumb. really dumb for doing your best to not fall in love with him because it’s pointless. no one could blame you really with the amount of immature guys your age but Yang Jungwon’s different.

it’s funny how you’ve only realized it now, though you can’t exactly pinpoint when it started since you may have been feeling something for him without realizing it. this is not even complicated unlike your previous ones and you’re surprisingly loving the vibe of it, the feeling of falling in love.

you must’ve been staring at them intently that you didn’t realize someone was entering the room and sneaking up on you.

“do you finally love me?” the very familiar voice asks behind you and you let out a surprise shriek, getting up from the chair to give some distance from him.

“what the hell!” you’re not really annoyed but more so mortified that he, out of all people caught you at this kind of vulnerable moment. 

“answer the question y/n~” he starts as he leans a bit, tilting his head with a playful smile which you find very adorable.

and now you’re having a hard time suppressing the urge to smile back, hoping your face is not obvious but you already couldn’t look Jungwon in the eye.

"uh, what makes you say that?" you ask, trying to subdue your nerves by talking as calmly as you can as you return your gaze to him, to those very beautiful eyes of his.

eyes that caught yours in the first place.

"you have that look in your eyes..." he tells you with a teasing lilt in his voice, eyes shifting to his polaroid pictures laying on the desk.

what look dammit. is he really gonna make you confess right now—

"it's okay to admit it y/n…” he adds before looking back at you, eyes searching for something, probably a confirmation so you shoot him a glare in return. it’s a facade really to hide your embarrassment but it washed away quickly when you heard him say "i love you back anyways" quietly.

you were so stunned at his sudden declaration that you didn’t even realize he ran away before you could confront him about it.

so silly, you chuckle at his antics.

you’re debating if you should follow him or not but before you can decide, the bell rang so you had to hurry out to not miss the next period.

.

after your last class of the day, you immediately ditch your friends to look for Jungwon. they didn’t mind, not even asking you why though they probably have an inkling already after seeing you being restless at class earlier.

you have to catch Jungwon before he goes home, cause you might not be able to do this after today. fortunately, to your relief he’s still here, sitting by the benches outside with two of his close friends.

approaching their table, you dropped his polaroid pictures without a word which surprised everyone at the table, but not much for Jungwon.

he never thought you’d approach him first because it’s always been the other way around but he should’ve seen it coming when he ran away from you earlier. he wonders why you’re here other than the pictures, it couldn’t be just that, right?

“oh let’s look at these” his younger friend Riki suddenly picks one of the photos, looking at them with an amused smile.

for the first time, Jungwon feels shy because those pictures are specifically for you. he posed cutely in them for the sole purpose of wooing you but Riki’s like a younger brother to him since he only has an older sister so he doesn’t really mind. he met the latter from the dance club, easily befriending him when they both got closer due to being chosen to represent their school in the local dance competition against other schools.

“you look cute in them wonie!” his other friend, Sunoo adds, examining the rest of the pictures with adoration. he’s from a year above you both while Riki’s from a year below. but because Jungwon’s done summer school for some courses that made him pretty much more advanced than his peers, he’s sharing a few classes with Sunoo this school year.

“jungwon, can i talk to you for a minute?” 

it’s already embarrassing to approach them this way when he’s clearly in some serious talks with his friends but you had no choice. it’s now or never.

“sure!” he turns to his friends excitedly, about to say goodbye but Sunoo smiles brightly at you both, returning the pictures on the table before grabbing the complaining Riki with him as they both leave to let you guys talk. 

you smile gratefully in return, waving at them as they leave. you wouldn’t want those two to witness whatever more embarrassing things you might say to their friend. those two are already known in your school with Sunoo having quite a lot of friends and Riki’s status due to his dance achievements but you’ve never really talked to them before.

facing Jungwon now, you watch the challenging look in his eyes. but you didn’t miss the knowing smile, hoping it’s not because he already knew what all this is going to be.

“can you be my valentine?” you say as fast as you can to fight your increasing heartbeat. the nerves did go away when his smile turned into shock.

your question did surprise Jungwon a lot. he thought that you were here to talk about his quick confession earlier but he didn’t think that you’d ask him this. 

he was actually planning a grandiose proposal to ask you even knowing that you could reject him. 

but somehow Jungwon’s assured that you won’t. he’s indeed been annoying and clinging to you since the beginning of last year to get your attention but you’ve been softening to him lately so he’s confident and he was right.

“can you be mine too?”

“i asked first”

“well, i was going to ask you” he countered. “that’s why i was talking to Sunoo-hyung and Riki” he added.

“oh” you pause, nodding in understanding as a genuine smile appears on your face but your eyes hold that mischievous glint that Jungwon immediately recognized.

“but now you ruined it” he continues, now sulking a bit with his lips jutting out which made you laugh a little.

"how could i ruin it when it's for me?" you deadpan, your tone and smile teasing him further, causing his face to slowly become red.

"you asked me first and i said yes first so mine's more valid than yours," he says indignantly, huffing as he looks away from you which you find cute.

“okay wonie, let’s see how grand this surprise of yours is” you relent, stepping closer to him before planting a quick peck on his cheeks, making Jungwon’s eyes widen.

the boy’s totally flustered, which erupts another hearty giggle from you. he never thought you’d call him that let alone kiss him so he’s having a mix of delight and content of you reciprocating his feelings.

“i love you won” you add softly, looking sincerely into his eyes before walking away, leaving him still speechless at where he’s standing.

maybe it’s too early to tell him that but with how long you’ve been repressing this feeling, you’re pretty sure this time that it's certainly more than just a crush.

e/n: idk how i wrote this really cuz this is so out of my comfort zone since it's the first time that i've written an only fluff fic so i hope it's okay 😅. btw i based OC's inner turmoil on pola XD

[ineffectualdemon]

I saw a post awhile back that's beem stickingnin my craw

It was a post about how recycling and reusing isn't that valuable to helping the environment or reducing waste because it will still ultimately end up in a landfill and and it doesn't cause reduction in that the thing being produced

And some of the examples given bugged me

First one "if you reuse the plastic container into a plant pot it does nothing in reduction and still ends up in a landfill"

Okay but- What if you recycle that plastic pot but next time you buy something made glass and you use that glass jar for storage for a long time. Reducing the need to buy more storage meaning there is less demand for it and if you do recycle it glass is better for actually recycling into new things and you can find projects and artisans who work to create a closed cycle of recycling glass where they crush it up and make it into something new that can then be crushed and made into something new again

Another example of this kind of thing. I have soany different types of tea. I mostly store them in old jars which is better than buying fancy container for them which is what I would do if I did not use old jars

That is a reduction

Second one: "I made things out of old pieces of clothing but I'm not reducing anything because if I didn't I just wouldn't have them"

Maybe that's true for that person. But as a crafter if I don't recycle old bits of fabric or clothing or go to scrapstore I would still want and need to create and would buy new fabric

Reusing or making use of scrap stores is lessening demand for new

Is it a drop of water in the sea? Maybe

But where I am and my situation in the world that's what I can do. I can do my best to buy things I will reuse again and again rather than discard quickly

And maybe thats not a lot but it's something and I don't think it's useless to encourage people to reuse and recycle. I don't think it's useless to try and be as environmentally sound as we can as an individual. Because people do those things out of hope, and the more hope they have the more they feel able to engage in other actions to help the environment such as protesting or working together in groups or anything else you find more effective

By telling people that what they are doing is "useless" or "pointless" or "won't help" you're just killing any drive they have to try and change things.

No me reusing a honey jar to store tea or taking a old shirt and reusing it to make something new is not going to save the planet. But it's a positive choice that I can do in my own home that gives me a small feeling of control that I can than take and apply to the bigger issue and the corporations making the biggest problems

Also how is people not caring and just creating more and more waste rather then trying to shrink their own footprint better?

Why do you think it's useful to drive people into apathetic despair?

Idk I just get frustrated

[natasha-in-space]

Uhm... Thinking about sitting on Unknown's lap today (original, I know) and how this one simple action can reflect on your relationship with him as a whole.

The initial experience is very awkward. Uncomfortable. Weird. For you both, in fact. Of course, you wouldn't know that. Unknown would rather choke on his own words and die than acknowledge that you are causing him to feel out of place. He needs to be in control... And he will go above and beyond to keep that control, even if it makes things more difficult for him in the long run.

He is keeping you on his lap because he hasn't got a setup for you yet. He never intended to bring you here, after all. Not beyond fantasizing about being the cause of your laughter or telling you about his favorite ice cream flavor. He doesn't know why he thought of such stupid things while researching your routine. In any case, it was pointless. The effort he put in was not worth it. All because you made the choice to do what he hates the most.

Lie to his face.

He'll get you for that later, of course. But he keeps you where he can see you for the time being. He could have let you sit on the cold floor, but he didn't. Unknown isn't willing to admit to himself that the thought of letting you sit there reminds him too much of the days spent curled up on the floor of his childhood home.

You have just arrived here, and you are already causing trouble just by being in the same space as him. Causing his thoughts to become erratic when he has so many tasks to complete.

You both look stiff as hell. Your aim is to maintain as much distance between you as possible, mostly for the sake of decency. Unknown allows you to do as you please. He is unaware of how people cuddle, anyway. He is utterly clueless about where to put his hands or what angle to have his head in order to view all that he requires to see on the monitors. Your body is feeling cold and tense. But both of you are silent.

It persists like this for a few days.

His first attempt to pull you close to his chest occurs on impulse. A sudden alert went out, and he had to act quickly to immediately assess the issues. So, he yanked you close, placing his head right on your shoulder, as his nose scrunched up in displeasure.

Only, he stays put even after the problem is resolved. You do the same. Your back feels more relaxed since you don't have to keep your posture upright all the time, and receiving extra warmth from his chest pressed up against your back is a wonderful gift, to say the least. And Unknown finds himself liking the feeling of your body pressing up against his, more than he would like to admit.

It feels soft. And warm. And grounding. He would usually only feel desperate for something like that during short periods of distress when the nightmares are plaguing his mind again. But now, it's very much a reality.

He gets a bit grabby after that. He truly doesn't have any ulterior motives with his actions, but it's only natural for you to get rather uncomfortable when he suddenly kneads at your upper thigh or squishes your sides. Unknown has no clue about what is acceptable or not according to society's standards. And, in his mind, he's only using you as a living stress relief or a stimming toy. Without having a grasp of the concepts, of course.

In fact, if you were to express your discomfort, he would likely offer a muffled apology. He sure doesn't like it when other people touch him without his permission. In a way, he'll understand if you explain why you don't like him doing that.

You are a mystery to him, just as he is to you.

It's only when you two start opening up to each other as people that your working arrangements start to shift. You become more comfortable settling into a relaxed position against him, and Unknown no longer sits stiff as a wooden board, nor does he grab at you like a plush toy or something. You two begin conversing with each other as you go about your duties. Making jokes. Mostly with you doing the jokes and Unknown simply raising a confused eyebrow at you.

You start seeing him as more than just some weird guy who snatched you away into some god-forsaken place, and he starts seeing you as a genuine companion to share his time and thoughts with.

Unknown becomes more relaxed, his shoulders slumped as he rests his chin on the top of your head or on your shoulder, depending on his mood and your height. He starts trying out different positions, and at times you provide him with small hints on where to put his hands, which he actually listens to. He finds that having one arm wrapped snuggly around your middle is one of the most calming things ever, even if his workflow slows a little due to him only typing with one hand. And you find that you can always fiddle with his hair once you feel him get tense or frustrated when something doesn't go his way. One time, he even got so lost in the moment that he hummed and leaned his head into your touch like an affectionate cat begging for pets.

You have never commented on it.

Unknown never knew how touch-starved he was until he had you. The feeling of being touched was pleasant. And it was pleasant to touch someone in return. Your touches were not painful, nor were they conditional. He never had such affection before. He becomes rather hungry for it.

This is why he snarles and tells the unlucky believer who finally brought you a new chair to fuck right off. Rather rudely. Not like he cared.

And once your relationship progresses and becomes romantic, the stiffness and awkwardness of your initial impression feels like a distant dream. Unknown grows bold in his affection for you. Casually peppering the side of your neck with light kisses as he scrolls through the recent log, randomly biting down on your shoulder for... no particular reason at all (is he a cat or something?), nuzzling into your hair with a frustrated huff when things don't go his way.

It's cute. But also a bit annoying. You find yourself working even less effectively than you did when you were just starting out. It's hard to do any work when your boss is actively nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck to keep himself awake. But he doesn't care. It seems that your 'usefulness' is not as important to him as he said.

Your company is more than enough.